Let’s go to hell with a blue beer chaser and ice cream on top

Beppu is famous for its hells. There are seven pools of the damned, each more beautiful than the last. Beppu’s jigoku are natural volcanic mineral pools dressed in astonishingly unnatural-looking colors. These steamy blue, green, red and white cauldrons get their hues from a variety of naturally occurring minerals, and are far too hot for taking a dip, but their steamy plumes have been beckoning visitors off the beaten path to marvel at them for centuries.

And for nearly as long, the locals have been making a living at everything from concocting skincare potions to farming reptiles. Let’s get off the train in Beppu, and see what the hype is all about!

Just outside the station, the city fathers promise that in Beppu, hot water is never far away. Visitors are greeted with this warm, mineral hand bath.

That one is free, but the main attractions require a quaint book of tickets to enter, so let’s buy one at the visitor center and start at Shira-jigoku, the “White Hell.”

It owes its color to a combination of sodium chloride, silicic acid, and calcium bicarbonate, which its chalky bottom reflects as a lovely shade of green. Despite the pond being filled with foliage-unfriendly saltwater, it’s surrounded by a lovely Japanese garden. Not satisfied that this would be enough to justify the price of admission (a whopping ¥400), its meandering paths draw us toward a modest aquarium display of…

FLESH-EATING FISH. Yes, this somewhat macabre collection includes notorious carnivorous species from pirhanas to garfish, all the piscine scavengers responsible for obscuring the identities of murder mystery victims dumped in bodies of water by nefarious evildoers.

And finally, lest you forget that you are in the Land of Bizarre Wishing Totems, there’s this.

You might think the coin-stuffed fish is hard to top in terms of weird attractions associated with hot springs, but the next pool—Oniyama-jigoku or “Demon Mountain Hell”—says hold my beer. The multiple boiling springs bubbling up from its blue-green depths are so hot that steam nearly obscures the surface, but for over a hundred years it’s been used to heat…

A CROCODILE FARM. Originally destined to become handbags and shoes, these reptiles are now cared for and bred by conservationists to help bring the population back from endangered status.

But still. Eww.

Quickly hustling away from this unexpectedly squicky attraction, we can’t help but notice the random steam vents popping up all over town. Clouds pour from pipes…

heaps of construction rubble…

street grates, and anywhere else it can vent, reminding us that, like the poet Issa,

In this world
we walk on the roof of hell,
gazing at flowers.

But now we’re back in the land of gorgeous hell-waters, so let’s enjoy the Kamado-jigoku or “Furnace Hell,” which is actually a cluster of colorful pools…

each a slightly different shade of blue…

or red…

plus several pots of bubbling mud, for good measure. This one is sort of a Beppu executive summary for those who’d rather spend their time relaxing in one of Beppu’s many hot springs than ogling them.

Furnace Hell’s unique attraction is how up close and personal visitors can get with the healing mineral water. You can drink it…

close your eyes and steam your face, or open your mouth to breathe in the healing vapors…

or rejuvenate your behind at the demon toilets. ***KIDDING.*** These honeypots are for bathing your hands—not your bottom—in wrinkle-banishing steam.

The next hellish attraction is a unique stroll garden that’s less like a hot spring and more like a Japanese garden with bubbling mud pots instead of ponds. Oniishibozu-jigoku—”Demon Rock Priest Hell”—gets its name from the fat bubbles that look like bald priest heads before they pop.

This unique garden is next to a temple that offers a selection of volcanic baths that anyone can try for a modest price. If your journey into demonland has made you long to immerse your travel-weary body in some hot mineral water goodness, take time to try these tempting public baths. (They’re segregated by sex, so not every bath pictured will be available to both men and women on a given day—some will be for men only, the others for women only.) You can rent towels and lockers for a small additional fee, so no need to plan ahead.

Next up is the most gorgeous hell of all, the Umi-jigoku, aptly named because its waters are the color of the sea.

The outer pond is cooler and attracts herons and other wildlife…

while the actual turquoise hell-pool is ringed by shrines to the kami-sama who call this lush landscape home.

Red lacquered torii gates tempt visitors away from the rock-lined cauldron…

to walk in the tropical forest carpeting the surrounding hillside.

Ocean Hell also boasts the biggest souvenir and snack shop. Kabosu citrus are a regional produce specialty (their tart taste falls somewhere between a lime and a grapefruit) which makes kabosu-flavored eats and drinks a must-try. The shop sells these kabosu juice sparklers…

and some diabolically delicious candied kaboso peel sweets, as well as a local, up-worthily blue beer.

The two final hells are a short bus ride away, but are well worth a visit for their uniqueness. The Chi-no-jigoku or “Bloody Hell” is (unsurprisingly) a rich iron-red…

and the hillside glimpsed from the path to its overlook…

spurred interest in moving on to the final hot water attraction: a geyser known as the Tatsu-jigoku or “Standing Hell.” It erupts fairly often, so even if nothing is happening when you arrive, a few minutes sitting in the shady amphitheater will reward you with an excellent view of the spewing fountain.

Above the amphitheater is a special bonus—a secret garden of azaleas! If you’re lucky enough to be there in late April you’ll find yourself in a wonderland of pink, but even at other time of year, the paths wend around the hillside through mossy greenery.

After our day of hot hell-viewing, don’t you think we deserve an ice cream? My partner-in-travel-shenanigans, fellow author Susan Spann, recommended the kabosu soft serve. She (as usual) was not wrong. Yum!

Extra fun way to escape from hell: take the ferry back to Shin-Osaka from Beppu or Kitakyushu!

Below is our room on the overnight ferry from Kitakyushu, and because Susan is the master of booking the right tickets at the right time, she snagged us the premium Japanese hybrid room (there’s only one on the boat, so you have to be quick). The other rooms are more like standard Western hotel rooms.

One of the great benefits of taking the overnight ferry (besides cutting your time sitting on the shinkansen from seven hours to two-and-a-half) is that the boat passes under three great bridges. The times are precisely calculated so you can set your alarm if you value photos more than sleep—I compromised with one alarm, but it was really fun to be out on deck watching the bridge sail by overhead!

Here’s where Beppu is:

To figure out how to get to Beppu from where you are, use the Japan Navigation phone app, plugging in your location, travel date and preferred arrival/departure time. Here’s where to get the app and how to use it.

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Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Japan, produces the monthly Japanagram newsletter, and blogs at Only In Japan and The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had

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