You know how I was telling you why used cars, old houses and vintage kimonos are so cheap in Japan? That once something reaches the ripe old age of a hundred, it acquires a soul? Well, souls can hold a grudge. And become possessed by a thirst for revenge against its owner for any slights committed against it.
Which is how you can end up with a Haunted Vegetable Grater (yamaoroshi) just biding its time until it can bloody your knuckle, or a tattered paper lantern (chōchin obake) bent on winking out just as you step onto that patch of ice. And woe to you if you’re a quilter who has neglected your fabric stash for lo these many years! That can turn into Possessed Yardage (ittan-momen) that flutters malevolently through the air, randomly attacking anyone it meets. (I can see by that look on your face you don’t believe this is a thing, but there are official Japan Rail reports of people sighting extremely speedy ittan-momen zipping along beside the bullet train in Fukuoka…)
Guess we’d take better care of my kitchen tools and textile scraps, right?
But wait. Turns out those aren’t the only household goods that can haunt you. How many of these tsukumogami are there, anyway?
OH NO! THEY ARE LEGION
The fact is, any household item can become possessed if it’s neglected long enough. Just in time for Halloween, here’s a list of my favorite haunted household goods of Japan:
The Sandal Ghost
Bakezori
A jealous straw sandal that scampers around at night, loudly insulting more beloved footwear.
The Demonic Mirror
Ungaikyō
A mirror that reflects back someone’s true nature (so woe to you, demon in disguise, because it WILL out you).
Musical Instruments Out For Revenge
Biwa-bokuboku, koto furunushi & shamichoro
Did you think the worst thing that would happen if you didn’t practice was a scolding from your sensei? Wait til your 13-stringed zither assumes the face and personality of a rabid animal with a mane of broken strings…
The One-Eyed Umbrella
Karakasa kōzo
If you forget to take your umbrella on a rainy day once too often, some night you could be ambushed by a one-eyed, one-footed umbrella that hops out when you least expect it and licks you with its long oily tongue.
The Phantom Futon
Boroboroton
Better not shirk airing your comforter, or it will rise up in the night, throw you out of bed, and attempt to smother you.
Possessed dust rags/mosquito nets
Shirō uneri
Don’t forget to retire those holey t-shirts you’ve been using as cleaning rags for-e-ver, or they’re likely to rise up, and not in a good way. And the net that keeps the whiney, bitey things off you long enough to get some sleep? Neglect its care and it’ll turn on you for sure.
The Cursed Clock
Zorigami
I shudder to imagine the mischief a haunted alarm clock could get up to. Let’s just say your sleep score is about to hit new lows.
One more reason short sleeved shirts are the devil’s spawn
Kosode-no-te
Yeah, that vintage hand-me-down golf shirt? When the ghostly hands appear from the sleeves, it’s really gonna mess up your swing.
And finally, the one that has all writers quaking in their boots…
The Possessed Manuscript
Kyōrinrin
A whole chapter that you were sure you saved before you closed it? Typos that only appear once the book is published? I shudder to think there could be forces more diabolical than Word lying in wait for the procrastinating novelist…
•For for
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Would you like to be whisked away to Japan, no matter where you are?
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—James Ziskin, Anthony, Barry, and Macavity Award-winning author of the Ellie Stone mysteries
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Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Japan, and blogs at Only In Japan and The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had
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