I love Halloween in Japan, because the costumes are so hilariously and bafflingly unlike something ANYONE would wear to a party where I come from! Let’s plunge right into the most baffling of the baffling and the most inexplicable of the inexplicable…
What the heckin’ heck?
To be fair, even Japanese people can’t explain this one
If going to a party dressed as a giant leek is your idea of a conversation starter, let me just mention that the granny is saying the only thing that can really be said: “Really long! Nice and thick too!”
If your dream is to appear in public dressed as a corn dog, let the examples of how this one might be received serve as no encouragement
In case you’re thinking Japanese costumes tend toward being a little TOO anatomically correct, please note that someone had a bit of a counting problem when crafting the six-pack on these “Muscle Tights”
If you don’t dispense booze while posing as a ginormous sake flask, you can tell everyone you’re portraying “Unclear on the Concept”
If you’ve managed to reach adulthood without a wickedly embarrassing photo of yourself eternally circulating on the interwebz, you can fix that right now with this fetching monkey suit
And if monkey’s aren’t your thing, don’t despair. Inflatable poop emoji costume to the rescue.
This one is so WTF it almost deserves a category by itself, but only in Japan might someone dress as everyone’s favorite local despot and be encouraged by the suggestion that “wearing in a group is recommended”
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If ya know, ya know, but…
Be prepared to spend the entire night explaining that you are dressed as a gachapon capsule toy, endlessly assuring everyone “these were really big in Japan a few years ago”
Try explaining to the dude dressed as a sake flask that Daddy Eyeball is the main character’s father from the anime GeGeGe no Kitaro, who was reborn as a benevolent ghost out of his decayed body as a version of his own eyeball.
In the rest of the world, people MIGHT guess you’re channelling a devil in diabolical tights, but in Japan you’re going to have a hard time convincing anyone you’re not supposed to be one of the stag beetles Japanese boys keep as pets
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Crossdressing your way to Halloween success
Featuring that handy “before” picture in case you have a hard time picturing yourself as a fabulously desirable servant
This one is called the “Hot Dress” in case pink satin and sneakers aren’t exactly what comes to mind when envisioning the new you as a femme fatale
Choose this set of “Idol Rangers” costumes if you think one of your fellow crimefighters in disguise might chicken out. That way, you can make an instant pivot to “girl group”
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Unclear on the concept
It’s never too soon to question those gender roles
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#thingsthatshouldnotbesexy
Sexy Shrine Maiden: A cross-cultural fail as dismal as Sexy Altar Boy
Sexy Stormtrooper: The more you wear this, the more star systems will slip through your fingers
Sexy Skunk and Sexy Werewolf: Since neither of these creatures actually exist in Japan, prepare to bookmark the wikipedia entry on your phone for when you inevitably fail to explain that you’re a sexy version of something nobody recognizes
Sexy Sully: Points for the tail, but…
Sexy Totoro: This one’s easy. ALL THE NO
And finally, the one perfectly targeted at every crime fiction author…
Japanagram 